For those of you who can't be bothered to physically pick up a hamburger, Burger King in Puerto Rico has come to the rescue with its introduction of the Hands Free Whopper! It's an invention that would surely cause Homer Simpson to complain, "And here I am using my own hands like a sucker!".
Now, you no longer need to pause from what you're doing to enjoy that delectable double Whopper with cheese and extra mayonaise. As the ad below demonstrates, you can work off those 1500 plus calories by strumming a melancholy ditty for your best gal, giving someone a tattoo they'll later regret, or massaging a beach babe with the excess ketchup and mayo that will, no doubt, find its way on her back while you snarf away at your burger.
Anyway, some way, somehow, the "I can hear you getting fatter" line from Tommy Boy comes to mind.