Your beard has feces in it. That is the conclusion that is virally spreading through the internet. Bacteria are in beards, some that are similar to what is found in feces, so beards are 'full of feces.' The half-assed reporting that started this story could use a bit more fact checking.
From Slate: "This story hits almost all the sweet spots of the genre: It has no actual data, no controls, nonsensical interpretation of results (such as they are), and a punch line that can be summed up in 140 characters or fewer."
The full story essentially points to the fact that bacteria are on everything so there is no doubt that beard bacteria will grow on a petri dish. Does anyone else remember that middle school science experiment? The best fact that I have gleaned from this story is that 'news' is truly a relative term. Read the full dissent on Slate.com.