John Lennon once famously said that The Beatles were "more popular than Jesus". Well, now Apple might be able to say that, as well, after Jesus was arrested for loitering at an Apple Store in Philadelphia.
It's no surprise that this happened in Philly where they managed to boo Jesus' secular counterpart, Santa Claus, but what, exactly, was Jesus doing that got the Apple Store management's undies in a bunch? Turns out that The Lord was taking a little too long to check his email, so they tossed him quicker than Jesus tossed those grubby money changers out of the temple.
I, for one, would like to defend the Savior. First, he's the embodiment of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, so the dude probably gets a SHIT TON of email. Second, Apple can be an evil temptress. We all know how that ended for Adam and Eve.
So, ease up on the Son of God next time, Philly. Karma's a real bitch when you're on Santa's AND Jesus' bad side.